Guess blog is another alternative to get things out to people who care to visit and read.

Life had been good. He has been faithful. Even in little things i asked for. Growing up is not something i look forward to, at least not anymore. year passed and i asked: what have i accomplished?
- nothing -

a week before turning 27, I asked you the same Question. Be contented, you answered. WOW.

(part of the conversation)
me: sigh, think of next week already scared, sure piles of work.
colleague: yea, a lot of work waiting for u.
(conversation ended, coz i am speechless)

Dread going back to work…

Lord, help me to love my work, enjoy my work..

To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did.

When God takes something from your grasp, He’s not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better.

The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.

On 3/2/09 Tuesday, we had our 2nd headstart meeting in Alvin’s condo. As usual, some arrived early to have dinner together. We arrived just in time and the meeting got started at 8.35pm. Had a good time with the group discussing about assumptions we had re work, church, lifestyle, relationship, church, marriage, money etc…. Meeting ended at 11.30pm.

On 4/2/09 morning, Wy Pun asked me to check my email and something very shocking took place. One of our team member passed away that very morning. I couldnt believe my eyes and have read the line ‘ Markus Ng, our friend and Headstart member, died this morning.’ for at least 5 times. My hands shivers as i type on my keyboard, my heart sank as I read the line again, i was confused. Didn’t we just talked? He told me he didnt know what’s his dinner as his mum prepared that for him. Why Why Why?

Markus as i remembered the first time i officially meet him in the headstart Intro in Deborah’s house. A guy with not many words, he has a quiet spirit, a humble heart and a sincere smile. During our first meeting in Alvin’s apartment, Markus was the only one who insisted to wash his cutlery after eating. I’ve even forgot to bring mine into the kitchen. He has a servant heart too! Over the few months since i know him, he has repeated the same phrase: “Why so serious lar?” He has always looked at a bigger picture. At this age, i know i have a lot to learn from this young guy. During awkward situation, he  never fails to put on his smile.

You will be deeply missed in our meetings, yes we will.

Good night, Markus. Death is a revolving door. We’ll see you on the other side of Paradise. (Extract from Alvin’s email) Till then, we will have another fist bump.

2. Do let the sun go down on anger.
I had always scrupulously aired every irritation as soon as possible, to make sure I vented all bad feelings before bedtime.

3. Fake it till you feel it.
Feelings follow actions. If I’m feeling low, I deliberately act cheery, and I find myself actually feeling happier. If I’m feeling angry at someone, I do something thoughtful for her and my feelings toward her soften. This strategy is uncannily effective.

4. Realize that anything worth doing is worth doing badly.
Challenge and novelty are key elements of happiness. The brain is stimulated by surprise, and successfully dealing with an unexpected situation gives a powerful sense of satisfaction. People who do new things — learn a game, travel to unfamiliar places — are happier than people who stick to familiar activities that they already do well. I often remind myself to “Enjoy the fun of failure” and tackle some daunting goal.

5. Don’t treat the blues with a “treat.”
Often the things I choose as “treats” aren’t good for me. The pleasure lasts a minute, but then feelings of guilt and loss of control and other negative consequences deepen the lousiness of the day. While it’s easy to think, I’ll feel good after I have a few glasses of wine…a pint of ice cream…a cigarette…a new pair of jeans, it’s worth pausing to ask whether this will truly make things better.

6. Buy some happiness.
Our basic psychological needs include feeling loved, secure, and good at what we do and having a sense of control. Money doesn’t automatically fill these requirements, but it sure can help. I’ve learned to look for ways to spend money to stay in closer contact with my family and friends; to promote my health; to work more efficiently; to eliminate sources of irritation and marital conflict; to support important causes; and to have enlarging experiences. For example, when my sister got married, I splurged on a better digital camera. It was expensive, but it gave me a lot of happiness bang for the buck.

7. Don’t insist on the best.
There are two types of decision makers. Satisficers (yes, satisficers) make a decision once their criteria are met. When they find the hotel or the pasta sauce that has the qualities they want, they’re satisfied. Maximizers want to make the best possible decision. Even if they see a bicycle or a backpack that meets their requirements, they can’t make a decision until they’ve examined every option. Satisficers tend to be happier than maximizers. Maximizers expend more time and energy reaching decisions, and they’re often anxious about their choices. Sometimes good enough is good enough.

8. Exercise to boost energy.
I knew, intellectually, that this worked. Exercise is one of the most dependable mood-boosters. Even a 10-minute walk can brighten up.

9. Stop nagging.
Not insisting that something be done on my schedule; and, most effective of all, doing a task myself.

10. Take action.
Some people assume happiness is mostly a matter of inborn temperament: You’re born an Eeyore or a Tigger, and that’s that. Although it’s true that genetics play a big role, about 40 percent of your happiness level is within your control. Taking time to reflect, and conscious steps to make your life happier, really does work. So use these tips to start your own Happiness Project.

Do you remember how mischievous you were 10 or even 20 years ago.. (Oh man…. 20 years ago, yes wei li, i am 18 only!) When mum said no, that’s when the interesting part comes. *mum just said no, dont play with scissors. Maybe i should try* How many times did we actually ended up having a yucky hairstyle, having our finger burn, and even having a emotional breakdown because of disobedience?

Obedience is how we show God we love HIM, and the obedience must always come before understanding.
Most of us, however, want to touch the stove before we believe it’s hot.

If you had children / younger siblings, would you want them to obey you because they love you or because they are afraid of the consequences? Would you be able to sit down with them and explain in detail all the consequences they will face upon doing this and that? No, not likely. Instead you would want them to obey and respect you out of love and to trust you when you say that thier own understanding will come later as they mature.

So it is with God. He asks us to obey now and trust Him for the understanding that will come later!

Lastly, many may not be aware. Partial obedience = Total disobedience.

Most people who verbally abuse their spouse are saying more about their own needs than they are about their spouse’s character. The verbal abuser has a deep need for self-worth. They are unconsciously seeking to elevate themselves by putting down the spouse. Of course, this is not an acceptable way to build one’s self-esteem.

Behind every verbally abusive tongue is a person of value. I know that’s hard to believe when you are hurt by exploding words, but it is true. Your spouse is an extremely valuable person, a person deeply loved by Christ. Of course, their verbally abusive behavior saddens the heart of God as it does your own. But their abusive behavior does not distract from their worth.

If you can focus on their worth rather than their abuse, perhaps you can be God’s instrument for bringing help. The wife could say, “I’ve been thinking about us. I’ve been thinking about our dating days. I’ve been remembering the tender touch, the kind words, the smiling face, the fun we had in those days. I guess that’s why I believe in you so strongly. I know the good qualities that are there. Sometimes I lose that vision when I am hurt by your verbal attacks, but I know the kind of man you are and I believe in that man.”

She is giving him what all of us need: someone who believes in us. This has powerful potential for motivating positive changes in his behavior.

In life, sometimes we will speak the words that will hurt people’s feeling. There’s one Pastor said “Is not what you say, is how you say”. Yes, this statement is very true. We need to speak wisely to build relationship, negative words will destroy relationship.

PRAISE GOD during happy moments
SEEK GOD during difficult moments
WORSHIP GOD during quiet moments
TRUST GOD during painful moments
THANK GOD for Every moment!
In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, Rick said:

People ask me, What is the purpose of life? And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were not made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven.

One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body– but not the end of me.
I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act – the dress rehearsal.
God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity.
We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn’t going to make sense.

Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you’re just coming out of one, or you’re getting ready to go into another one.

The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort.
 
God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy.

We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that’s not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness.

This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer.

I used to think that life was hills and valleys – you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don’t believe that anymore.
Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it’s kind of  like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life.

No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on.

And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for.

You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems.
If you focus on your problems, you’re going into self-centeredness,’which is my problem, my issues, my pain.’ But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.

We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her.

It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people.

You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life.
Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For insance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy. It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don’t think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease.

So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72

First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases.
Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church.
Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace, Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation.
Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.

We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity?

Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism?
Or am I going to be driven by God’s purposes (for my life)?

When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say,God, if I don’t get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better. God didn’t put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He’s more interested in what I am than what I do.
That’s why we’re called human beings, not human doings.

Personally, i think its a better way to start the new year with that purpose in mind. Not just to live a to-do list day, but to know YOU better!

As 2008 is coming to an end. It also meant a time for thanksgiving. Since young, this was the way i was brought up. Be thankful and appreciate the things i have, i do not deserve anything i have right now.

Just a few particular items that is filling my mind now:-
1) Parents – who constantly praying and providing for me. Most importantly, releasing me without worrying during my holidays. hehe.. not many parents can sleep well when  thier children is abroad for 2 weeks! Well Done Mum & Dad!
2) Siblings – who without fail make me climb up the wall when she never clean the room, who without fail annoyed me when he is glued to his monitor with computer games and not aware of what’s happening AROUND him & who without fail calling back from penang and talk for hours on the phone FOC! I love all 3 of you! Life would be boring without you all right??
3) Two friends who walked and held me up during my fall earlier this year. It was not easy but encouraged to know that you guys are walking with me. Its all about how I respond and not reacting to it. I know you are there when i needed someone to listen. Thank You. 
4) Gerard – My boss and friend. I thank God for sending him. A totally different working experience with a non-Malaysian employer. Well, not perfect. But 80% good! 

And also many others to give thanks for, a healthy me, a non nagging grandparents, people who celebrated my brithday, people who has blessed me soooo very much – Wongs Family, Aunt Mei leng, Aunt Mag & Unc Loke ( My spiritual parents), Aunt Susan Unc Wong, Aunt Lily,…. etc

I remember i’d read this in some book but cant remember exactly which one. it says as we live our life, God takes snapshots of it. At the end of the day, when He put them together, it will be a whole Big picture of our Wonderful life. God makes all things work for good. When we go through really hard times, its also a part of the picture He wants us to have. Its a matter of how we perceive it.

I’ve been granted with lots of favor,. The path I chose to walk, the journey i chose for my life must not exclude YOU! It may seems narrow and the highway & short cuts is tempting, I know the big picture at the end of the day will be really awesome if I allow YOU to paint my journey.

Looking forward to year 2009, forgetting what lies behind, I am excited to see and experience what He has install for me me me!